24th of December
by Ozfan
Summary: A surprise visit at the diner on Christmas Eve.


It is late, and she is rushing home with some last minute essentials for Christmas morning brunch (extra box of Pop Tarts, Entenmanns's chocolate doughnuts, other gourmet must haves) and she sees the lights of the diner beckoning from a distance, and she pauses in the middle of the sidewalk as the cold December wind snaps her hair across her face. She takes a deep breath and suddenly it is still, as if all the residents of Stars Hallow had snuck inside and disappeared.

She finds her feet propelling her toward the diner. It will be closed; the door will be locked… when she tries to open it there will be no jingling of any bells. But she reaches the door, and her gloved hand reaches for the handle, and the door does swing open, and there is the jingling of bells.

The diner is empty, because it is late, and it is Christmas Eve, and everyone is with family. She likes the diner when it is like this; there are Christmas lights strung up, and Ella sings to her from the radio in the kitchen…

_What do I care how much it may storm? I've got my love to keep me warm._

And that is when she sees him. He is carrying a box from the back and stops when he sees her. His surprise is quickly replaced by a tentative smile.

"Hey," she says.

"Hey yourself. What are you doing out and about on Christmas Eve?"

She walks to the counter and puts her bag down. "Coffee. I need coffee. I still have a lot of wrapping to do."

He smiles at her, and she sees the sadness behind the smile and it breaks her heart a little. He pours her coffee and she sips it gratefully.

"What are you doing still open?" she asks as the silence becomes awkward. There have been too many awkward silences between them this past year. She has decided that she has to do something about that.

"Eh, just packing some stuff. Liz invited me over but TJ and alcoholic eggnog… not a good combination."

"And April is at her moms," she says. He nods. He studies her for a minute.

"How are you?"

"I'm…" she is about to say great, that is the word she always uses. Then she decides to downgrade it to good. Then she decides to be honest.

"I think I have the Christmas blues. I don't like being home. I don't know why. It doesn't feel like home anymore." There, she said it.

Now someone is singing something about no place like home for the holidays and it is making her sadder, so she clears her throat and asks Luke how he is.

"I'm okay."

Beneath those words are such loneliness that she has to look down at her coffee cup because she feels tears stinging the back of her eyes.

"I miss you," she whispers. "I'm sorry I don't visit when I'm home."

"Door's always open. Just because your mom and me don't… aren't… because we can't be like we used to, doesn't mean you don't still mean the world to me."

Rory swallows. She wants to tell him that it is strange at home, that it is not always pleasant, that the happiness feels forced, that she can't comprehend why she isn't thrilled that her mom and dad are married and are living together in the house she grew up in; she wants to tell Luke that her mom has the same sad look in her eyes sometimes that she sees in his right now. She wants to tell him that she is not sure her mom made the right choice.

But it is Christmas Eve, and it is not her place, and she feels a loyalty to her parents, so she does not say these things. She just says, "We all really miss you."

Luke frowns a little as he takes in her words, and his jaw is clenched, and then he smiles a little. "Hey, Merry Christmas anyway, huh?"

She smiles back. "Yep. Very merry." She suddenly realizes that she has more Christmas memories with Luke than she has with her dad. Luke was the one who came over and helped get the live bird out of the Christmas tree the year Lorelai decided they were going to go deep in the woods and cut down their own tree. It was Luke who would help untangle the mess of Christmas lights that Lorelai always refused to put back in an orderly fashion. It was Luke that Rory and Lorelai tortured one year singing Christmas carols to at the top of their lungs. It was Luke who drove them to the best sledding hill when she was 12 on one of the few white Christmases they had, and she remembers that feeling of flight, and joy, on her way down the hill, and how the three of them drove home exhausted and supremely happy that day.

Now Bing Crosby is on the radio crooning about dreaming of white Christmases, and Rory realizes it is time to go, even though she'd like to stay here with Luke in his softly lit, peaceful diner and listen to the radio some more.

Luke walks her to the door and hands her her bag, and she hugs him suddenly, fiercely, and he is surprised at first it seems, but then he hugs her back, and she smiles.

"I'm glad you're Luke, Luke," she says.

"Well, I'm glad you're Rory, Rory. Now go home. Merry Christmas."

She walks quickly home, wishing for snow, wishing Logan did not go on a family ski trip for the holidays, wishing her mom would be more like her mom again, wishing home were more like home.


End file.
